well, for me first, i guess i can start, it was early on because i knew that after i retired from the nfl, two weeks later, valentine's day, which is my birthday, our son was born, hunter and to have a son born on daddy's birthday and i dreamt of things that fathers and sons do. and from that point on he started having difficulty, four months into his life he was diagnosed and we pretty much after that point almost went in separate directions. and i retired i went to work for nbc and went to work for espn i was on the road a lot. and jill was at home, not only with our oldest daughter, but also our son hunter, who was suffering from a disease called a cravay luko dystrophy and throughout his life jill kept a journal and we handled it differently as men and women do. i was on the road a lot and things weren't quite the way i thought they were going to be. i thought of coming home and everything was going to be fine, but coming home to a house full of people all the time wearing on me and our relationship just started to dwindle. and with the-- you know, with our son and all of his struggle